Frito ‘n me recently got this sweet gig as Security Associates at a reggae beach party. An’ the Owners is pretty cool about letting me stay on, “Are you certain? It is a volunteer position.”
Well, it’s a resume builder, I tell you that! And as long as I can pay my rent it’s the good, ‘cause he’s one of those moanin’ Landlords. “37 months overdue.” “Another explosion?” “IS THAT A DEMON!??!”
Frito, my Constant Companion & Dog of Wonder, figured one job as Security Associates was a natural parallegible, paraleg, them two straight lines what runs beside each other opportunity fer us. An’ Frito isn’t one to speak without his brain doing most of the speakin’. Frito also pointed out that the Carnelian-Bastion Estates people did the opening of a nude beach, and if Security Associates is ever needed, like, it would be the nude beach.
Frito got himself ready, mostly by walking into the ocean then shaking hard beside the cook pot. I said I knew what to wear, almost ready, got no shirt on anyways. He said let me see it, the full-frontal Security Associate look.
“You have to look professional. It was okay to look the way you did at the beach gig. It’s all casual. But when folks is natural, there’s none of that hiding the curves and sticky-out bits. So you gotta avatar-scape,” he expounded.
“Avatar-scaping is the gentle art of sliders, normal-like. In the nude case, we have to fix what’s stuck on the outside. So’s please stands up, and show me what’s the what.”
I’m not sure what he’s saying, jes gotta get to the naked, right, but I stood up and dropped drawers. He made a face.
“For some reason, I am reminded of Star Trek, Season Two, Episode 15: The Trouble with Tribbles. As in, ‘You can’t show up with a Tribble on your tummy.’ We gotta trying combing it out, or something.”
We broke my freebie hairbrush. Frito hummed and mini-woof’d while wagging his tail and walkin’ in his “thinkin’ circles”. Then he earned his Dog of Wonder label.
“Wait, I have a better idea. Tree-hugging the pine tree should do the trick.” He paused and stood still while he thought it through, “If you were following the series closely, any Trekker can tell you that Scotty beamed, or teleported, the Tribbles to a Klingon Battle Cruiser. That’s what we will do.”
“Push in harder, really hug that conifer, you gotta look professional. And then teleport yourself to … anywhere.”
And when Frito is right, he’s right; an’ when you arrive at GCG Welcome in the all natural, say hi to a few people who never accept the friendship button invite, then teleport back to the home, you are on your way to a new career. It’s another grand day in the #GCG. :) WOOT!
“Hi Miss Mari. :) I wuz noticin’, well Frito was noticin’, your new nude beach here. And we figured you was needin’ some of our specialty, securitying.
What does yer say, are we gettin’ the job?”
Frito grinned. “The look on her face says we’re in!”